chapter 12

“Before I start, I want to ask that you all follow two rules. First I want to ask all of you to let me tell what I need to tell and leave questions for afterwards. Keith will add anything to it when it comes to his fact finding mission. Is that ok?” She looked around as when no one said anything she continued.

“The second thing is…. Well I already apologized for what I did to your Dad but not to you, Nick and David. I want you to know that what ever I tell you is because I want you to know. It is not to try and make you understand why I did it or even excuse me for it. So please accept my apology and listen. My intention is first to help to find Francis and then if you want to be some how even if it is in a small way to be part of your life, so be it. But first be open, to listen as I am sincere in my willingness to help you.”  She waited again and looked at us.

I saw that she meant it but that doesn’t mean it was easy to see why and how.

“I never had the intention to get back into your lives. I made my choice so many years ago when I left and although I would have liked to come back into your lifes their was no way that I could. You both deserve better then that. But when I saw you on TV I really didn’t ponder my response and started to make plans to get out here as soon as I could. Now you wonder that was not soon enough but it was the first opportunity that I could create without arousing any suspicion,” she stopped and looked at Keith.

“She told us how she did it. We verified that in the second round after we found out how dangerous the organization is. The last thing we wanted is to bring any one of you in any danger.”

“So when I saw the picture of Francis I knew what he meant for you Nick. It was plain to see for any one that was looking for it. Oh I didn’t see it the first time nor the second time but around the fith time I definitely got the idea that there was more then just the painter and his model in that. I got online and did some research about what had happened. I read that the police thought that he was just run away and that a possible raw was the reason for it. I found it flimsy and I was happy that Keith told me he though so too.”

 “Not that we found clear evidence for this guys. But I think we can say for sure that the sherriff down there was in on it and knew that this was the only explanation he could give,” Keith added.

 “So all in all, I knew there is a big chance that Francis was kidnapped because of your relationship with me. Now you might wonder why would they bother as that is easy to explain. About a week or two before his disappearance I had a talk with one of the bigger bosses and he wanted me to do something. I said straight out “NO” to that. I found that it was going to far and I didn’t want to. He more or less threatened me at that point. If I would refuse then they had the means to make this work for me. They still haven’t gotten back to me on this but I have the feeling that they were waiting so that I could be pressured to do what they wanted.”

 “What did they want?” David asked.

 “Sorry David, maybe one day but not at this time. I just had enough and this was the drop that was to much for me.”

 “Did you investigate this?” I asked to Keith.

 “No not yet. Your Mom has not told us and it might come up in the future for sure.” Keith smiled at Mom and she started to go on again.

 “But that is all from the last few weeks. That is why I am here but not why I left. Although you might start to see that me leaving was not voluntarily. Oh no, let me rephrase that. It was voluntarily but only because I felt that otherwise at some point I would be to easy to blackmail through you. I felt pressured and also I saw what happened with other people. I wanted you safe and it seems for quite some time I managed to get that done.”

 “So you left because you where afraid we would get hurt?” David asked.

 “Please let me finish David, maybe you will understand then.”

 “It all started about 2 years before I ran off, when I got acquainted with a group of people. I liked it and got friends with them fast. They found out that there was something that I had that they could use. Make a profit out of it and at that time I got pulled into their little group. First with innocent things but a few months before I left they got serious and I knew by then when they mean business it was business. I then, for the first time found out what they had done. A man that I had met at one of the parties and who was a good friend of one of my girlfriends was gone missing. Now I got lucky as I knew where he lived and found out through his daughter that the last thing he would do was run off just before the birth of his grandchild. I could see reason in that so the run away story as they have used it before. It was not until about 3 years later I met him and he had changed, but also we talked as they didn’t know that we had known each other, before. So just by accident I found out that they kidnapped him as well.”

 “I can verify that was one of the stories your Mom told and although it was not easy we were able to locate that man and asked him if he could tell us that this was all true”.

 “As the run away story was to obvious I got in contact with a private eye. I asked him to look into some people. What I didn’t realise at that time was how dangerous they were. He was not a good one and he didn’t go easy so the next thing what I got back from them was, that they had taken care of your private eye. Please don’t do that anymore or you will regret it more then he will understood.  The next morning there was a newspaper on the table with a story in it saying that they had found him dead. I recgonised his picture that was printed to go with it.

 Realising now to the fullest what I had my self into I know I needed to make a decion. I either tell you and go to the police or just run away. The police was at that point not an option. I realized that none of us were actually safe anymore, so I left. I saw it at that point as the only option open to me. So I ran towards them and helped them to get richer and richer. I am sorry but there was no other way I saw at that point”.

 We were silent, not knowing what to say I guess, letting it sink in, at least I was. I saw a change on David’s face so he was starting to understand as taht was what I guessed.

 “So what was it that you where so precious to them?  David asked.

 “I am sorry David but for the time being I can’t tell you more. I know that might be not enough but I can’t, not yet”.

 “Sexual?” He said with a big disapprovement in his voice.

 “David, that is not something to ask,” my Dad said quite determent.

 I saw Mom looking at me. Not sure why but …

 “No, not to make them money with David.”

 “So ..” he wanted to go on.

 “Not now David,” Alexei said looking at him.

 “Did you look into that Keith, did she tell you then?” David asked him.

 “Sorry David, she didn’t tell us what kind of talent was useful to them. But a few things that she told us, were not known to the public so somehow I must say that there is truth in the fact she had something worthwhile for them.”

 “Will you tell us or Keith so he can check?” I asked.

 “Not yet,” she said.

 “But if we need to know to be able to find Francis?”

 “I might then, but only if I can feel it is necessary.”

 “Oh,” I just said. Although her story so far had been compelling and even to horrible to think about the choices she had to make. It still felt strange; we still needed to believe just on her word for the more major parts of the story.

 “So any questions?” she asked when it got silent.

 “Plenty,” David said, “But I got the idea you won’t give answers. I think you have told us all you want to tell us for now and I know it is quite a bit but still it leaves questions.”

 “I know and you have to trust me, no wrong word. You have to believe me that I will tell more if I could but I don’t want to bring you in any danger at this point”.

 “So you will go to the police with this then. Make sure they are going to pay?”

 “I think this is the only way out of it but there needs to be put safe guards in place, first. Keith is working on them”.

 “Yea, we need to make sure that she is able to speak out freely without any ways or means of blackmail on to her. So what she didn’t want you to undergo 15 years ago might mean you have to deal with it now. I don’t think it will be to severe but it might include police cover for all of you including your wife and son David. If she goes to the police that is something you have to realize that you are all in danger”.

 I had triggered that bit already but saw that now David did as well. “You should have stayed away,” he said accusing.

 “Who knows but I have been going through the pain of not having the person you love and expect to live your life with around and that is something that I didn’t want my son to feel. So sorry David but I hope for once in my life that I made the right choice.”

 “Thanks,” my Dad said. “I think we need to work through this first and let it sink in. I am grateful that you where willing to tell all of us this and I think we need to consider what the next step would be. But not now as lets do that tonight after dinner. I know you have things to do Keith so I hope you can come back later tonight.”

 “Yea that is a plan.”

 “You want me there then too.”

 “If you can.”

 “I will and if anyone in the meantime have any questions let me know, ok? Your dad has my cell phone. I can be here in a few minutes.”

 “Ok, but I think we can do that tonight.”

 We got up. I walked with Keith and Mom towards the front door.

 Just before Keith opened the door, my Mom turned around  “Can I come earlier tonight Nick and talk with you?”

 “About what?”

 “You painting as I knew you could draw. I still have some of the drawings you made for me,” she said softly.

 “Why Mom?”

 “Just because it is something you have passion for and I …. . it is part of the family. I though you might like to know about that.”

 “You paint?”

 “No, but your granddad did.”

 “Ok, as long as it is about that ok?”

 “Yea, don’t worry it will be.”

 “Ok, come over then around 6.30 we will be finished with dinner and I don’t think Keith you will be here before 8 or so?”

 “No, that is what it will be. I want to go home first to have dinner.”

 “Ok, 6.30 then yea?”

 “Ok and thanks Nick. You won’t regret.”

 Keith opened the door. Looked outside and then the left. My Mom had put the cap of her coat on.

 Now why did I say yea? I didn’t feel comfortable with her around and definitely didn’t want to talk about painting. She had surprised me with the question that was sure. But  I guess she had made a difficult decision for sure. But forgive her, never I thought, but what if she could help with Francis. I understood she was risking her life for that. That was something worth it, wasn’t it? I pondered it all as I had not moved away from the door yet as I heard someone come up from behind me.

 “You ok Nick?”, the voice of Randy said.

“Yea, she wanted to talk about painting, it seems it runs in the family, my granddad seems to have done the same.”

 “You want to or not?” he asked

 “Well not sure but she got me by surprise with that so yea, I said yea.I told him, “Do you want to be there Randy as I don’t think I want to see her on my own?”

 “If that is what you want, but might your Dad or David not a better idea?”

 “No as not sure they will understand.”

 “You might be surprised, but ..’ he put his arm over my shoulder. “I will be there if that is what you want”..


 “Ok, lets get back.”

 The rest of the day was spent doing a few things. We went out for a run and sorted through some e-mails we had. I chatted with David for some time and found out that Thomas was doing ok. I told him I would keep him up to date and that I hoped it all was over soon and that I could then finish the painting as he said he understood.

 Just after diner the bell went and Dad opened the door. I heard him talk with her in the hall. I was not sure to interrupt or wait. He lead her into the living room and then said, “Can you take your Mom to your room Nick ”.

 “Yea, hmm is it ok if Randy is there too?”

 “No problem Nick. You have no secrets for him.”

 “Not as far as I know, he has been a good friend as he rescued me some years ago.”

 “I know.”

 “You do?”

 “Yea, surprised? I kept up to date with what happened.”

 “And you didn’t …. “ I stopped half way through the sentence.

 “What, come and help you, wanted to be with you….”.


 “Of cause but at that point I knew I couldn’t. I would only made things worse. Remember I had made a choice and knew it was mine to deal with.”

 “You never wondered if we would like to have known if you were still alive?” I said more or less accusing as that was one of the things that I wondered about and now more or less here walking up the stairs, slipped out.

 “Yea but again that would not have been the only question and then there was the danger.”

 I opened the door to my bedroom. “Randy” I yelled over the hallway.

 “Is she there?” I heard someone shout


 “Ok I am on my way.

 “Nice room, she said when she got in.

 There were some drawings on the wall and that was it as  rest I had taken care of and presumed this would be the place where we ended up talking. She walked up to the wall and looked at the drawings. “You got a great technique you know. So natural.”

 “You know about techniques, you did paint yourself then?”

 “No, I haven’t Nick. Not that I don’t wanted but….”

 Randy walked in. “Is it ok for me to come in?”

 “Yea, come in Randy,” she said

 “Thanks for being there for my sons. I know this isn’t easy on them.”

 How do you know I wanted to ask but I swallowed that question as I understood that was just my anger talking?

 “But what Mom?” I said to make sure that we would go on where she left.

 “Can we sit?”

 We sat down and she looked at the drawings again before she surprised me with the next question.

 “I understood you made quite an impression with your art debut?”

 “Yea, it seems so.  I’ve only had one exhibition and that was with two other artists, nothing more.”

 “Then how did you end up on TV … and on Rosie’s show, of all places?”

 “It seems I got to know the right people.”

 “I guess so … you were on with some well-known people.  But those two paintings were incredible.  The woman with David … was that his wife?”

 “Kathy … yea … a remarkable girl.  He’s very fortunate.”

 “I’m glad to hear you like her … though they’ve had a child together very quickly, haven’t they?”

 “They’re doing just fine, to be honest.  David has a good chance to qualify for the Olympic trials and Kathy is doing very well at university at the Moment.”

 “You don’t need to defend them, Nick.  Sorry … but it’s just strange for me to think of them having kids … as, in my mind, David is still my child, to be honest.”

 “Well … that is what happens when you leave … you miss parts of our lives.”

 “I know … and it’s not something I expect to get back.  I just hope that I can be somehow a part of it all again … even if it’s from a distance.”

 I didn’t want to go on that route as I knew I would probably get angry again.

 “You want to talk with me about my granddad?”

 “Yea, he was quite a painter as well. I will have to make sure you see some pictures that he did.”

 “So he was good?”

 “Yea, he had a special gift that made his paintings look incredible.”

 “What then?”

 “I think you know, Nick.  I think there’s more than just the ability to draw that you inherited from me.  I can see it in your paintings.”


 “Can’t you see, there is so much more in your paintings. The capture of the emotion in it is a gift you know. Only great painters can do that.”

 “So I am gifted?”

 “Yea, but it is not only that. The gift comes along with something.”

 I started to feel faint. How did she know, did she mean .. no she couldn’t.

 “I know they are not easy to accept to start with Nick.”


 “So you had them, the visions?”She asked

chapter 13


chapter 45

We arrived about 15 minutes later than as planned. I was wondering what Brian and Seth had planned for us. I knew it would be with around 20 friends but we just needed to see what was going to happen. I noticed that Michel was a lot happier than he had been during the dinner with his mom and dad. I smiled looking back at that, as for me I really had a good time and enjoyed the openness of his parents. Now the only thing that was left was what had he planned by getting me in this tight wrestling outfit. Not something that I would want to be seen with. The side effect of it was at least that I was able to keep my balls tight and that still helped a lot because standing still caused discomfort from time to time.

We were welcomed at the door by Shawn who gave us both some kisses, something I was definitely not accosted by but enjoyed very much to do that in the open.

“Good you are here. We wondered how the dinner went and when you started to get late we worried a bit to be honest”.

“You knew we were invited over then?” I asked him.

“He smiled, yea because Michel was so afraid that his parents might want to show up down here that this was the way out of that”. He said with a smile.

“But how did it go?” He asked looking to the both of us, waiting for any response.

“Fine”. I said. “He has some great parents”.

I saw a bit of a smile on Michel’s face when I said it. “We survived it”. He said a bit more carefully.

“So you are not moving in then Tim?” Shawn said sarcastically. I could see he was definitely enjoying teasing Michel with it.

“I am not invited yet but a few more flowers and kitchen duty who knows”. I said.

“Oh, stop, it happened and now we can move on yea. Is everyone here”?

“Yea all that we invited so that is good. I think Seth and Brian are waiting for you.”

He took our coats and led us into the cafe area of the club.

“Ah, there they are, the guests of honour”. Brian said. I could see he had been waiting for us close to the door.

“How did it go?” He whispered in my ear.

“Fine, but you might better ask Michel that, he was more nervous about it than me to be honest”.

“Good. Before you can enter properly we have something we totally forgot about when we invited some of your friends. We want to be together tonight in our own surroundings but that means that some of us might well let’s say act a bit more in the second relation so to speak and I am not sure if they know and can be trusted”.

“Oh, well spotted Brian”. Michel said. “I didn’t think about that one either. Let’s get them down at this table and see how they respond”.

I looked a bit startled at Michel. “You going to tell them?”

“Yea, why not we trust them, we believe they are our friends. I think Jamey will not mind and I don’t think that Paul or Dennis will mind either. Don’t you think”?

“Hmm, not sure, just wasn’t sure you wanted this to get more known as well”.

“You don’t want them to know Tim?”

I got quiet while looking at him.

“You’re ashamed of it?”

“No, not that”. I said.

“Embarrassed by it then?”

“Hmm, yea I guess a bit”.

“Well it will change nothing in our relationship or in the friendship we have with them”.

“You won’t  … well …”

“No, never, that is a promise. I am your master and no one else”.

“Oh, ok”.

For a moment I was afraid he would somehow get others into it as well and that would be definitely a step I was not prepared for or willing to take.

I wondered though if it meant I needed to do something tonight as well. I just hope not. But maybe that was against better judgement. That was all going through my mind while I watched Brian bring the three of them to our table by the door.

“Ok, guys Michel and Tim want to prepare you for something that might or might not happen here tonight. Sit down ok”.

They sat down.

“You ok Tim?” Paul and Dennis asked at the same time.

“Yea I am fine, getting better every day”.

“Good and the dinner went ok to tonight?”

“Word travels”. Michel said. “Yea we survived so that is good”.

“Ok, so what is it that might happen tonight an orgy?” Paul said with a smile.

“No, nothing like that I can tell you for sure”. Michel said. “But as you might have noticed already there are quite a few couples present tonight”.

“Yea we saw that, felt a bit left out to be honest”. Dennis said.

“Well you could have brought your girlfriend”. Paul added. I thought there was a bit more than just playfulness in his voice and I think Dennis noticed that as well.

“Well they are couples and most of them are very very much in love with each other. But with quite a few of them they have something different to their relationship as well”.

“Like what, bisexual, having women on the side?” Paul said.

“No, definitely not guys. No it is something you might not find that easy to understand. We just hope you do and can accept it for the time being. If not, you can always leave of course”.

“Oh, now you are making us curious guys”. Jamey said.

I looked at him and smiled. They waited for Michel to continue.

“Ok, what do you guys know about slave / master relationships?”

“Like being a slut?” Dennis asked.

“No, more like in being dominated or having someone in your control”.

“Hmm, like getting off when you humiliate someone or spank him or so”. Paul said.

“Yea, that is getting close”.

“Well not a lot to be honest”. Paul said. “More or less what I just told you”.

“Do you mean that some of the relationships here are master and slaves, like Brian and Seth”?  Dennis asked.

“So you saw that?”

“Well no you mentioned it, Brian does some things like getting drinks for Seth all the time”.

“Yea that can be part of it”.

“So tell us what might happen then or …..”

“Ok, let me try to explain this. You know that sometimes in a relationship the man or woman might be passive in the more sexual side of the relationship or some tend to be more aggressive. Some like a lot of foreplay, some like to fuck, some like to suck, well in a master / slave relationship the slave likes to serve somehow, and let me explain that in a moment the master in the relationship. I know that a lot of time you think or are led to believe that it is only about sex, only about the fuck or the score or the pain or the humiliation. But there is a lot more to it than just that. Or let’s say can be as some just use it as sex and nothing more. It also can be part of a very loving relationship like the one indeed Brian and Seth are having. But the arousal is more or less enlightened by the slave / master relationship. Now don’t go and think about beatings or slave collars or CBT (Cock & Ball Torture) or whatever straight off as there are all kinds of things that might be part of it, some have just one item of all of that in their slave / master relationship. Most of the people here are not 24 hour slave and masters but tend to use it in their sexual play”…..

“But”… Paul started “No wait Paul, please let me finish”. Michel said.

“In some cases it is even a necessity for the slave or master to have fun like that in some way. That sounds strange I am sure but it isn’t. Sometimes it helps relieve stress or as I said strengthen the sexual drive. But the most important thing in it is that it is done in a respectful way in which the master is even more responsible for his slave than he would be for his boyfriend. So tonight you might see some of that kind of loving or playing going around. Like simple things like Brian getting drinks or others take some clothing off, doing a show for us or just going to sit in a corner. I am sure that with you around the more well let’s say ‘naked’ play might be left behind but still some of it might occur for sure. So we just hope that you are ok with it”. He looked at them waiting for a response.

I saw that Dennis was looking at us, first me then Michel then me again. A smile broke through on his face. “What you are really saying Michel, is that you and Tim are in a relationship like this? You are his slave isn’t that right Tim?”

Ok the words were out and on the table.

He was looking at me but I had no idea what to answer.

“Yea he is Dennis. But that doesn’t mean you can address him any differently. He is still his own individual Tim as he always was and he is definitely not doing anything without me etc”.

“Hmm, so that little show you put on twice forgetting your shorts for gym was really some kind of order you got from Michel then”? Paul said.

“Shit that means Brandon is it too”. Jamey said looking across the room where Brandon was talking with Justin.

“Yes”. Michel said. “But it is not like ordering but asking to do a task, to show they want to do what I want as it also makes them somewhat sexually aroused by doing it”.

“Damn you mean that you enjoyed walking around like that in that t-shirt and briefs. Is it that why you are wearing those skimpy briefs Tim?” Dennis asked.

He was definitively looking at me and not at Michel. I looked at Michel and saw he was not going to answering but leave this up to me to do.

“Yea if that is what Michel wants that is ok. I know I can trust him and he won’t put me in any danger either. Oh and yea I like to walk around in skimpy briefs as you put it”.

“Wow”. Dennis said.

“I never thought that of you Tim. But you do everything that Michel wants then?”

“I don’t know I might in the end but I have things that definitely don’t turn me on or anything and I think we are coming to an understanding and that is part of our slave / master play and relationship. I am sure you heard of those people that have gone into total submission and do everything what someone else says but that is not for us. That is neither me nor Michel”.

In the meantime, Paul had been looking around at the people there. “But, sorry for the cliché guys but you don’t look effeminate or anything nor can I tell with any of the other couples”.

“No, that is what we told you a moment ago. But maybe if you are ok with it, you might want to let it go for tonight and just see for yourself. We are willing to answer all the questions about it that you have and I think that Seth or Brian is more than willing to discuss it as well”.

Jamey had been quiet and I looked at him. “You ok with it then Jamey?”

He looked up as he had been following some of the people in the room.

“Yea, sorry but can I ask you something? If you don’t want to answer then let me know”.

“Yea, that is ok”.

“Well, Martin down there then, does it mean he…..” He blushed now.

“It is something you have to ask Martin ok Jamey but maybe you should just start to get to know him first ok”. I said as I saw a big crush developing already.

“So to make this a bit easier for us guys, can you tell us who is with whom”?

“Yea not a problem”. Michel said and he looked around.

“First we got Brian, he is with Seth; they are throwing this coming out party for me. Then there is Shawn the bartender and my uncle Jeff”.

“Oh, he is your uncle and he’s ok with it?” Dennis asked.

“Yea, then there is William and his brother”. Michel continued. “There is Winston and Daniel. Not sure they have something together but they are gay and work at the hospital. Tim became friends with them during his stay so we thought it would be nice to extend our circle of friends a little”.

“Ok, they are both cute I must say”. Dennis said.

I saw a look from Paul again. There was definitely something going on down there.

“Well then we have indeed Brandon and it seems our match making has done something right there Tim as I don’t think that Justin has got eyes for anyone but him and the other way around looks the same”.

“Yea I noticed that took a moment ago”.

“Well then there are some friends of Seth and Brian there and of my uncle so not surprise if there is some kind of slave / master relation going on as well.

“Ok, thank you for trusting us with this”. Paul said.

“Yea thanks guys you are really quickly becoming very good friends I must admit”. Jamey said.

“Well that has two sides so we hope you are still ok with this”? Michel added.

They all nodded. I saw that Michel gave the thumbs up to Brian.

Brian had climbed to the podium in the meantime; he smiled back to us and took the microphone in his hands.

“Hi there guys, welcome all tonight. We, Seth and I thought it was time for another party and our guests of honour who walked in gave us the excuse to throw one, Michel, Tim welcome guys and congratulations”.

Cheers erupted as they all turned towards us.

“Wait, wait one second before you all go and welcome them. We know these parties can become quite well let’s see enjoyable but we want to make sure that for our younger guest it is going to be fun too. Oh I am not going to say you are not allowed to kiss, cuddles and hmm even grope a bit but let’s say that anything you have doubts about ask us first ok”?

He got booed when he finished that and one must have been one of Seth’s friends laughed and said. “Yea innocent youth like they still exist”.

“Oh don’t worry guys we will have fun for sure that is what our parties are famous for so don’t worry about that. But first let us drink to Michel and Tim”.

Glasses were raised as our health and fortune were greeted upon.

We walked slowly further into the room and stopped to talk with most of them. We got close to the corner where Daniel, Winston, Brandon, Justin, Martin and his brother were standing.

Hugs were shared and Brandon said. “Lets sit down here, we should all just fit”.

“So you all got to know each other already?” Michel asked.

“Yea we didn’t need to sit on the hot coals during a certain dinner”. Brandon laughed.

“Thanks for the support”. Michel said.

“How did it go then?” Justin asked looking at me.

“Great, Justin, just great. Good to see you made it though. I am sure Brandon is quite happy with that”.

Brandon blushed now. “You staying the night then Justin?” Michel asked.

“Yea but Brandon invited me so if you can cover for me….” He said silently.

Michel laughed a bit and looked at me. “I think we can work around something. We don’t want to stand in the way of something we brought together now do we Tim”.

“Definitely not”. I laughed.

“Ok, that is enough making fun of us”. Brandon said.

Martin was just sitting beside me and nodded to me. I looked at him. “You ok Tim, sorry that I couldn’t visit it you in the hospital but there was no way I could come up with an excuse”.

“Yea not a problem Martin. And yea I am doing fine, getting there again, trying to get everything back to normal”.

“Good, maybe we can talk a bit more later on”.

“You ok?” As I could hear some nervousness in his voice.

“Yea, just want to know a bit more about your friends if that is fine”.

I followed his gaze when I saw he rested it on Jamey. I got a smile on my face as I thought more match making.

We talked for the next 30 minutes and it was good to see that Winston and Daniel fitted in so good in our little group.

I had looked to see where Dennis and Paul were but it seemed they had found some new friends to talk with themselves. Jamey had been talking with Shawn.

I looked up when Michel was nudged by Seth, they talked a bit and then Seth walked towards the podium. We were sitting quite close to it. He stopped the music and took the microphone into his hands.

“As Brian already said we are happy to have you all here, a lot of old friends and some new ones”. He then nodded towards our table especially.

“Brian also said we would have some fun. I understood from Brian that the new ones down here understand the nature of some of the relationships that are among us. So I think it is time for some innocent play and have fun. So Brian and others come onto the stage please”.

When I saw Brian, Shawn and a few others go onto the stage I knew what Seph had meant. I looked at Michel but he whispered. “No, not for you. Just enjoy this”.

“Ok, thanks guys. I think we all agree that such good looking hunks are a bit overdressed so why don’t you get a few clothes off ok”.  I saw smiles on the guy’s faces. There were 5 of them now and no one minded for sure.

I saw that Winston and Daniel stood up and started to clap with the rhythm of the music, soon to be followed by the others. I looked around to see how Paul, Dennis and Jamey had responded. But they all had a big smile on their faces too and were clapping. All in all good fun it seems.

I felt that I started to get hard when they were slowly getting their jeans off. Hot, hot, and hotter I thought.

We were all clapping now and wow they were all wearing very sexy briefs for sure. I saw that Michel had gotten up and walked to Dennis and Paul. Justin and Brandon stood beside me now.

“You don’t need to go on?” Justin asked.

“No, I asked Michel but he said not to. I guess as a guest of honour I don’t need to tonight”.

I wondered though as why had he wanted me to wear that wrestling singlet.

“And you still have not decided who is going to be who in your relationship?”

I saw the two of them now going red but it was Brandon that spoke first. “Let’s say that we are just discovering each other. We know we like to have some fun, just not sure how and what so to say”.

“Yea, I am just happy he likes me as much as I like him”. Justin added.

“Good, we hoped you would be attracted to each other”. I said laughing.

“Thanks for that Tim”. Brandon said and I could hear that he meant that.

We then got interrupted as Seph was back on the micphone again. “Hope you liked that little intro. We will put on some more music again, dancing music for sure so you youngsters can dance a bit. Just so you know if you wanna touch any of these cuties you can, just make sure they have fun too”.  He said with a laugh and with that he tugged on Brian’s dick, which was showing off quite nicely in his briefs.

“So how are you holding up Tim?” Brandon asked.

“I am ok, just happy if things will return to normal and I can go back to school again”.

“You will be there again on Monday then?”

“Might be, not sure. But on Tuesday definitely as I might have a doctor’s appointment on Monday just to check to see if it is healing ok.

“You heard your mom is out again?” Justin asked.

“Yea, …. “ When I got stuck for words then Justin said “Enough said, sorry Tim”.

“No, that’s ok I need to get over this and I will. With all your support”.

Some people had started to dance a bit and Michel had come close to us. “You want to dance Tim?” He asked.

I smiled. “Yea let’s do that”.

We danced for about 15 minutes with the music. We were not the only ones for sure.

When Michel led me off the floor we ended up standing close to Martin, his brother and Jamey. Michel stood with his back to them while Daniel and Winston had joined us. I didn’t hear a lot of their conversation when I heard the next conversation to evolve from behind Michel.

 “I thought you would have wanted to be on that podium as well?”  Martin’s brother said.

“No, not tonight brother”. Martin answered.

“I would have loved to have seen you up there though”. Jamey said.

I saw that Martin blushed.

“He loves to do things like that but I can’t always push him to do so”. Martin’s brother said.

“That is a bit strange for sure yea”. Jamey said.

“But you have been telling him to do stuff or not?”

“Yea, we agreed he needed to be honest. But lately we agreed he might need to wait with it until he found his own lover”.

“Ah, ok, we’ll just look at the others; you seemed to be enjoying yourself or not then Martin”? Jamey asked.

I saw he blushed even more now. “Maybe, but now there are too many people around I don’t know”.

Good save I thought. I was surprised that Jamey was going so far though. I was sure they would end up kissing before the end of the evening. Martin was almost drooling at Jamey’s attention and I think Jamey was not able to look anywhere else. It was like a cookie jar had been opened up for him.

“Wait here”. Michel said with a smile, when the music stopped. I saw that he walked up to the podium.

Oh, where would we go I thought?

“Hi there guys. Just thought I would say a few words of thank you for this party. Brian and Seth, thanks for this”.

“You were just happy to get away from home”. Jeff yelled.

“Maybe I was but then who wants his mother to show kiddy pictures of you to your boyfriend”?

Laughs came back now all over the place.

“So, I just want to thank everyone for their support lately as well. You know what you mean to us and what it took for us lately to get where we are. I am sure Tim agrees with me on this”. He said pointing at me.

“Why don’t you join me?” He said then.

I dreaded that a bit to be honest as I almost knew what was coming and I was not sure I was going to like it.

“You know that Tim has been through some rough times lately but together we are getting over it. But it also means that he has been more or less been left off the hook earlier on the evening. But I thought that it would be good if he would join the other magnificent boys out there and walk around in a bit less clothes then he does now”.

I looked at him. I got close to him and whispered. “You really want me to do this?”

He looked at me. “Tell me, one thing. If the answer is no then you are off the hook. If the answer is yes you will get undressed”.

“What?” I asked anxiously.

He took the microphone back in his hand.

“He wants to bargain with me guys, now normally I would say no to that but tonight well I think I will win any way. I have a question for him. If his answer is yes he will get undressed and if the answer is no he will be allowed to leave his clothes on”.

Now there were some out calls. I had hoped that he wouldn’t make that public. I felt that I started to feel embarrassed by it all. My already reasonable growing dick had now turned hard quite a bit. Damn, so easily I thought.

“OK, Tim, tell us are you hard at the moment?” And with that he looked down to my trousers.

I was not sure if you could see anything or not but there was no way I would lie to Michel. I just couldn’t do that.

I let out a sigh and said. “You win Michel”.

“I knew I would”. He said with a smile.

It had gotten quiet in the room after some people whistled.

Then we heard a voice. “No not tonight I told you”. Martin said.

“Problems down there?” Michel asked.

“No, just an unwilling participant. I thought Martin might have liked it to join but he refuses it”. Martin’s brother said.

“Oh, ok, well that’s his choice”. Michel said.

“You are right about that”. Martin’s brother said then.

I thought then that Michel would say something again but before he could I heard a new voice from down there.

“I think you should Martin”. It was soft and I was not sure that everyone had heard it.

I saw that Michel looked more or less shocked to me. “Wait”. I whispered to him. “This could be very important”.

“You think they….”

“Oh definitely. The way they have been looking at each other all evening, I would say this could be very very important for them”.

“Oh, are sure you just don’t want to stand on the stage on your own”?

I blushed a bit and felt my dick get harder even now that Martin might join me.

“I think you should Martin”. We heard again now much harder.

“You want me too then?” Martin asked.

I could hear the tremble in his voice though.

“Yes, I want you to go up there and get undressed”. Jamey said more forceful.

I could see looking around now that there were quite a few people watching them. Some new exactly what was going on. I saw Brian gave me a smile and a nod.

“Is that your order Sir?” Martin said.

“Yes, get up there now and get undressed. Show yourself boy”.

I never had heard Jamey talk with so much determination in his voice. I could see their eyes were locked and then it seems Martin caved in.

“I will sir, anything more sir”?

“NO, that is it go on Martin, I want to see how you look”.

He walked up towards me, a smile on his face. When I looked behind him I saw that Jamey followed him with his eyes, slowly moving closer to the stage as well.

Chapter 46

hoofdstuk 31

“Maar Tom, kan je dan nog wel echt spuiten ook”.

Ik knikte maar weer.

“Moet dat het apparaatje er helemaal af”.

“Ja, meester” antwoordde ik.


“Ok, dat was de eerste opdracht, leuk zoon” vroeg de vader aan het jongste zoontje van hem.

“Ja, heerlijk om zo zo vernedert te zien worden, maar tegelijkertijd dat het ze ook nog opwindt”.

“Prima, dat is het idee. Volgende opdracht dan maar”.

Verdomme, nog meer dacht ik, of dit nog niet genoeg was.

“Ja, prima, wat denk je van nummer 3, ik heb ook wel honger” antwoordde de jonge meester.

“Ok, lijkt me prima”.

Ik keek hen aan en zag ook de andere zoon met vraagtekens in zijn ogen kijken.

Ik zag dat het jonge meester een aantal zaken pakte.

“Wel, de volgende opdracht wordt er een van doorzettingsvermogen. De verliezer krijgt weer een extra opdracht. Ook is het een opdracht om eens mooi te zien, hoe graag en ver je zelf kunt gaan. Met twee slaafjes is dat altijd leuker om te doen dan met eentje. Doe je slipjes alvast maar uit”.

Ik keek naar hoe het slaafzoontje zijn natte slipje uit deed en een erg stijve lul liet zien. Ik stapte ook uit mijn broekje. Ik zag hoe het meestertje aandachtig het apparaatje aan mijn lul bekeek.

“Ziet er grappig uit, maar zit niet in de weg voor de opdracht. We gaan jullie namelijk aan elkaar vastbinden”.

De vader had inmiddels een uiteinde van het touw beet en mijn meestertje het andere. Ik zag hem voor mij op zijn knieën gaan en even later voelde ik hoe hij het touw rondom mijn ballen deed.

Toen ze beide weer opstonden zij de vader: “Goed jullie gaan dadelijk zo staan dat het touw strak staat. Je gaat dan trekken met je ballen, het touw is 2 meter lang en je moet het andere slaafje een meter jou kant op trekken dan heb je gewonnen. Vragen”.

“hmm en de verliezer” vraagde de zoon.

“Dat ziet hij dan wel weer toch”.

“Zullen we dan maar. Zet allebei maar een flinke stap achteruit totdat het touw strak staat”.

Zogezegd zo gedaan dacht ik terwijl ik voorzichtig naar achteren schoof. Het laatste wat ik wilde was te ver naar achter stappen en dan gelijk mijn ballen zeer doen. Dat zou toch wel gaan komen.

Ik zag hoe het touw strak begon te staan en stond stil. De vader deed twee stukjes touw op gelijke afstand van het midden.

“Ok, dit zal ons helpen te bepalen wie wint dus wat mij betreft ga er maar voor”.

Ik voelde hoe er een beetje aan mijn ballen getrokken werd, het touw stond nu helemaal strak. Ik gaf een beetje tegen gas maar bijna niets. Al met al we waren voorzichtig voor elkaar. Ik zag hem glimlachen toen ik hem aankeek.

Na ongeveer 5 minuten zag ik dat de vader naast zijn meester zoontje ging staan en hem wat in het oor deed fluisteren.  Het meestertje liep daarop naar het touw en voordat wij er beide enig idee hadden wat er ging gebeuren trok hij hard het touw omhoog, ons daarbij allebei naar voren halen door middel van onze ballen.

Shit dacht ik.

“Dit schiet zo niet op, jullie proberen nog een eens niet. Ok misschien helpt dit een beetje. Als we binnen de komende 10 minuten geen winnaar hebben dan doen jullie de strafopdracht gezamenlijk. En om je een beetje te motiveren gaan w ook alvast zeggen wat die is. De verliezer doet zijn slipje weer aan en opent straks op die manier de deur als de pizza bezorgd wordt”.

Het was even stil, daarna begon de pijn aan mijn ballen toe te nemen. De zoon begon te trekken aan het koord dat was duidelijk. Ik keek op en zag ook niet langer een glimlach op zijn gezicht maar meer een grimas. Ik deed daarna een stapje terug en shit, dat was pijnlijk. Maar goed ik moest winnen. Ik kon het niet maken om dit weer te verliezen. Uithoudingsvermogen dacht ik dat wordt het.

Ik trok dus niet hard maar wel gestaag.

“Nog 1 minuut jongens dus als je niet voorschut wil staan dan zou ik maar beter je best doen”.

Ik voelde op dat moment de druk nog meer toenemen, verdomme dadelijk gaan ze er nog vanaf dacht ik. Terwijl dit zo gebeurde was er echter een ding in tegenspraak met dit en dat was mijn lul die was als hard als mogelijk was en zo ook van het zoontje.

Ik voelde even de druk af nemen en dacht dit is mijn kans. IK dacht niet na, niet na over de gevolgen en deed in een keer een behoorlijke stap terug. Dat had het zoontje niet verwacht en hij schreeuwde het uit en deed daarna meer dan een stap naar voren om het op te laten houden. Gelukkig dacht ik dit had ik niet verloren.

“Shit” hoorde ik de zoon zeggen. Ik keek en net als ik had hij zijn handen om zijn ballen.

Ja, dit doet inderdaad pijn.

“Zie je zoon, je doet ze pijn of nog beter zich zelf pijn, maar nog steeds zijn ze allebei lekker stijf”.

“Ja, verrassend”.

“Nee, want dit is waar ze wel op kikken”.

“Oh, dus hier worden ze geil van”.

“Ja van dit of het vooruitzicht dat ze dadelijk de deur moeten openen in hun slipje”.

“Ah, wel de pizza zou hier ieder moment kunnen zijn dus misschien moeten ze zich maar klaar maken daarvoor”.

“Goed idee” zij de vader.

“Zoon, ik zou je slipje maar weer aan doen, of je moet zo open willen doen”.

Ik zag de zoon op staan en naar zijn slipje grijpen. Hij begon het over zijn benen heen omhoog te trekken. Ik denk dat hij toen ook realiseerde dat het slipje nog steeds nat was en dus ook een beetje doorzichtig was.

“Ok, zodra dadelijk bel ga, ga je de pizza halen ok”.

“In dit”.

“Ja, gewoon doen he”.

“Shit, ook geen T-shirt zoals anders”.

Oh I had dit al wel eens gedaan.


“Oh, ok”.

“He, jij slaafje, sta daar niet zo te gapen. Ik wil dat je je slipje ook weer aandoet ok”.

Ik deed mijn slipje aan en wachten. Eigenlijk wachten we alle 4 nu.

Licht geschrokken toch wel toen de bel ging. Ik zag de zoon zuchten en toen naar de deur lopen. Hij had wel lef dat is zeker.

“Kom eens hier slaafje” zij het zoontje.

“OK, ga hier staan”. Hij plaatste me zo voor het raam dat ik met mijn gezicht naar het tuinpad sta.

“Zo dadelijk loopt de pizza bezorger weg en ik weet bijna zeker dat als hij bij zijn motortje komt dat hij dan nog even kijkt, en rara wat hij dan gaat zien. Doe het gordijn maar open”.

Shit ik dacht dat ik niet gestraft zou worden.

“He, ik dacht.. “.

“Fout, maar je bent lekker geil dus waarom niet” en met dat kneep hij een keer in mijn lul.

Ik hoorde stemmen in de gang en toen ging de voordeur dicht. Ik zag een niet al te lange knul naar zijn motortje lopen en inderdaad daar aan gekomen keek hij nog eens om en bleef zijn blik op mijn rusten.

Wat nu, bleef hij staan, kwam hij terug. Ik liet het gordijn weer terug vallen.

“Lekker toch of niet dan slaafje”.

Ik kon niet antwoorden. Ik voelde de adreline door mijn lichaam gaan.

Toen plotseling ging de deur bel weer.

“Oh, iemand aan de deur. Ik denk dat mijn broer in de keuken is dus misschien kan jij beter gaan nu”.

Ik keek hem aan, maar ik zag dat hij het meende.  Ik liep naar de deur en ging de hal in.  Ik aarzelde even en toen trok ik de deur open.

“Ja, …” zei ik.

Het was natuurlijk de pizza bezorger. Een jongen van een jaar of 20 of zo denk ik. Niet als jong als ik ze wel eens gezien had. Hij keek duidelijk naar mijn bobbel in mijn broekje.

“Hm, ik moet erg plassen kan mij dat hier even doen”.

“Denk van wel wacht even” zei ik.

Ik opende de deur naar de kamer.

“Hm, hij wil even van het toilet gebruik maken”.

“Oh dat is prima” zei het zoontje.

Ik keek hem aan.

“Laat hem maar binnen komen”.

“Oh, ok” Ik draaide me om en zij “Kom maar binnen”.

Ik hield de deur voor hem open en hij stapte de kamer in.

“Ben ij hier verantwoordelijk voor” vroeg hij aan het zoontje,

“Ja, vind je dat leuk”.

“ja, ze zien er goed uit, maar ik moet echt plassen”.

“Ok, dat komt goed. Slaafje volg mij”.

Hij wees naar een andere deur. “Ga alvast maar naar boven tweede deur aan de rechterkant, wij komen zo”.

Nu wat dacht ik. Ik vond de deur en zag toen ik hem openende dat het de badkamer was niet echt verrassend.

Even later hoorde ik ze naar boven komen.

“Ok slaafje, dit is een extraatje voor jou. Ga op je knieën zitten en open je mond”.

Shit nee dacht ik niet opdrinken, vers van de bron.

Ik zag hoe de jongen zijn broek open deed en zijn lulletje net voor mijn mond hield.

Het duurde niet lang voordat de eerste stroom van urine mijn mond in ging, deze spoelde over dus ik moest wel slikken. Daarna snel weer open en meer in mijn mond.

Ik zag dat de knul een sarcastisch lachje op zijn gezicht had.

“Lekker” vroeg hij.

Ik knikte niet want ik deed mijn best om ook het laatste op te vangen.

Toen hij klaar was, kreeg ik een handboek aangereikt.

‘Droog je bovenlichaam en je benen en voeten, niet je broekje of je haren of je gezicht en dan ga je naar beneden”.

Ik deed als gezegd en ging naar beneden toe. 

Wil je reageren op het verhaal doe dat in het gastenboek, klik hier


chapter 11

One Saturday afternoon we were all sitting down at the table for lunch when the door bell rang.  Since I was just toying with my food, I was up before I even knew it.  I walked towards the door, opened it and …..

 My mind went blank.  It ignored the evidence before its very eyes.  This couldn’t be … no way.  I closed my eyes, opened them again, checking to see if the conclusion my brain had come to was right.  I could feel my legs start to give way, my breathing became flat and, before I knew it or could say anything, I dropped to the ground.  I could hear someone say my name though … “Nick!!!!”

 [For obvious reason the next section is narrated by David]

 Nick had gone to open the door.  The conversation turned immediately to him and how we could get him out of his current mood … and, of course, how to do more to find Francis.  But that had been a topic for quite some time in e-mails and phone calls that had been going back and forth as well.  No one had any new ideas.

A Moment later, though, the door bell rang again.  I thought I heard someone say Nick’s name.  What was going on?  Before I knew it, most of us were standing up and running towards the front door.  I was one of the first to arrive and I ran into the vestibule.  There I found Nick lying on the ground and a woman kneeling beside him.

“Nick!!  Nick!!” I said.  The women looked up towards us now.  I stopped and felt someone behind bumped into me.   I …  I … wanted to say something … but words were not good enough.  I got closer to Nick and knelt down.  

“What did you do to him?” I said, sounding very, very angry.

“Nothing ….”

“Well … why is he on the ground then?”  I could here some arguing and yelling behind me.  I presumed it was Dad who was pushing through.

“Leave now!  It seems you’ve done enough damage already,” I said as I pushed her back a bit.  I knew that she stood up and stepped back but she refused to leave.

“Nick, can you hear me?”   There was no response.  He had a normal heartbeat, so I knew that nothing was wrong … but what was going on?

I could feel my Dad move closer.  He knelt beside me.  “Shock, you think?” he said to me.

“With her there … yea, that would be my guess, too,” I answered him.

“I didn’t do anything to him.  Trust me … he saw me and … collapsed,” she said with a sniff.

“Maybe Just stand back … we need to bring him inside.  You wait here, OK?” my Dad said to her.

I looked up to her.  “Sorry, David.  If I’d known that he would react like that, I ….”

“What should you have done?  You have no idea how hurt he is!” I yelled now.

“David, leave all that for later.  Help me to get Nick inside,” my Dad said.

I got up, not responding to the sniffing that I heard behind me.  Now looking inside, I saw the others looking curiously towards both me and my Dad.  They were probably wondering who that was at the door.

We picked Nick up and brought him into the living room.  Alexei was there with a wet cloth and something to drink.  Slowly Nick started to move.  “You OK, Nick?” my Dad asked him.

“What?  Where?  Damn!  Is she still here?” Nick asked.

“Yea … you stay right where you are.  I think you had a bit of a shock there.”

“I think so!  Wouldn’t you if ….”

“Well, not any more, to be honest, Nick … but we have to deal with that now.”

I saw Nick try to get up but he was pushed back by Alexei and James.

“I think you’d better stay lying down for a Moment,” I suggested.

“Hmmmm … but ….”

“No … I think that’s a good idea.  We’ll be right back, OK Nick?”

My Dad interjected, “David … come … let’s see what she wants.”

“But I want to talk with her, too, Dad,” Nick pleaded.

“We know … but first things first … in a Moment, OK?  Just rest for a second.”

I followed my Dad into the kitchen.

“What does she want, Dad?  How long has it been now?”

“A long time, David … a very long time.”

“So … now what?”

“I guess we’ll have to ask her what she wants … and why she’s here.”

“Do you think it has anything to do with Nick being on TV?  Seeing him like that again?”

“Might have been … who knows what she’s thinking?  But we’d better go see her.  I’m not sure we can keep Nick from coming and chatting with her for very long.”

My Dad walked back to the living room.  I put some water on for tea and waited for them to get settled.  I’m not sure what happened in the living room, but it took a bit longer than I expected.  I’m sure Dad wanted to be certain that she wouldn’t do any harm … though, simply by showing up now, she’d done all the harm she could do anyway.

The door opened and I noticed how nervous I was.  She came in, followed by my Dad.  She approached me quietly.  She reached her hand out and said, “David!  It’s good to see you.”

I thought about not taking the hand but she had a gentle smile on her face.  She wouldn’t win, I thought.  I held out my hand and our fingers touched and then melded into a handshake.

“Mom!” I said softly, not trusting myself to say a lot more at that point.

“Let’s sit down,” my Dad said.

“Is Nick OK?  Won’t he be here?” she asked.

“He’s OK.  I guess the shock of seeing you, unannounced, was too much for him.”

“Not for the both of you!” she said, again with a smile.

“I don’t know.  Maybe the fact of your appearance hasn’t sunken in yet,” my Dad said.

“And you, David?”

“I’m not that easily shaken,” I answered.

“You’ve became quite a good-looking young man.  I can see you took after your Dad.”

“At least he was here,” I answered, trying to keep my anger out of my voice.

“So … what are you here for?” my Dad asked.

“I wanted to see you all,” she answered simply.

“Why now?  Why not years ago?”

“Just because.”

“That won’t do and you know it.”

“It will have to, dear.  The children can decide for themselves whether or not they want to know me.  They’re old enough now to make up their own minds.  I can understand if you don’t.”

It had become a duel of words between them.

She continued.  “I know I’ve hurt all of you, but I hope we’re now past that.”

“I don’t think so,” I said.

“Don’t be so hasty, David,” my Dad said.

“You want to have her in your life then?”

“No … but I don’t want you to dismiss her like that.  She’s your mother … you have a family to consider … I think you need to listen to her and then decide.  She’s still your Mother.”

“Hmmmm ….  Perhaps biologically … but no more than that … I don’t think she is my Mother.”

“Well … just wait and don’t be too hasty.”

I heard the door open and I turned around.

[Nick enters the room and resumes as narrator]

“Mom?  Is that really you?”

“Yea, Nicky.  It’s me.  Sorry I startled you at the door … but there was no way to warn you.”

“It’s OK.  I was just shocked.”

I looked at the others.  I certainly felt hostility in the room … not from Dad but definitely from David.  I saw that David’s face was not looking very happy.

“What are you doing here, Mom?”

“I just wanted to see you.”

“Why now?” I countered.

“Your talent is incredible, Nick.  I wanted to talk with you about it.”

“Oh!  I’m pretty sure there are others who know me better.”

“I know … but I just wanted to see if I could be a part of your life again.  I know I hurt you badly when I left … and I’m sorry for that … more than you will ever know.”

“Why Mom?  Why?  Why without a word … without a note … just like that.  Didn’t you think we cared?” I said while tears ran down my face.

“Oh, I know you did … all of you cared.”

“Why then?”  I desperately wanted to understand.  I knew … no, I felt … that I wanted to get to know her.  She’d been an important part of my first years of life and I knew she could be again … but only if I could understand why she’d abandoned us.

“Sorry, but I’d better go,” David said.

“You don’t want to know?” I asked.

“No.  It was her decision and she has to live with it.  For now, that’s enough for me.  I don’t want to know why as there’s no reason in the world that can justify what she did.  Not to me, not to you and certainly not to Dad.  I’ll be in the living room, although I’m sure the others will want a drink as much as I do after I tell them what’s happening.”

“I’m sorry, David … maybe later.”

“No, Mom.  Please leave me alone for now.  I need to think and, if I want to get in touch, I’ll let you know … but for now … just don’t say anything.”

“OK.  Just remember … I love you.”   David turned as she said that.  The look on his face said it all … pure hatred, I’d say.  He didn’t say anything … he just left.

I looked at my Dad.  “Kathy will talk with him, don’t worry.  He’ll want to hear more but I can’t guarantee that he wants to see you again.  I think he’s made his mind up about that already,” my Dad said.

“I can understand that, but I think I can help … and that was the reason why I needed to be here.”

“Help with what?” my Dad said.

“Hmmmm … I presume you’re not alone any more.  I feel the presence of another woman.”

“Yea … a wonderful, beautiful lady … Susan.  They married two years ago,” I said to save my Dad from having to answer that.

“But all those years he waited for you. All those years spoiled because you left without a word” I said started to get my initial anger about what she did back again.

“So tell us,” my Dad said. “Why are you back. Why now. I think we have enough to deal with at this Moment”.

“I am here to help” she said calmly.

“Help after all those years is not what we need, not from you for sure. We have all the help we need,” my Dad said.

“Oh I think you need more”.

“And then what will you do hurt us all over again and leave. Because you’d better know that if you hurt Nick or David or any of his family in any way again, that I’ll come after you, no holds barred.  Last time, I had their interests to concern myself about, and they needed me … but I’m quite sure that that isn’t the case any more.”

“I know … and I’m sorry for what happened … but I have no intention to hurt any of you.  As I said … I’m here to help.”

“No we don’t need your help. How can you even dare to show up your face like this, like nothing has happened and say you want to help? Where were you when we moved down here and we could have used all the help”?  I yelled now.

“Because I know where Francis is.” She said leaving us both fablers gasped as I looked at her then at my Dad and then back again.

“No, how, why you. I don’t believe you. You just want to crawl back into our lives. I yelled.

“Where is he then,” my Dad asked softly but I could here in his voice as he was definitely not trusting her either.

“I can’t tell you the location but I know who got him and why.”

“No you don’t you “Bitch.” You left us and this is just a way to come back into our lives. I wanted to listen to reason but this is too much. Don’t ever get back to us as I don’t trust you. I did once but I am not making that mistake again. Never try to contact me again.

“I am sorry to hear that Nick,” she said softly.

“Well I am not and not sure why you would want to talk with her, Dad but I am leaving” I said very much a shaken by it all.

I slashed the door and went upstairs. I wouldn’t come down until she was gone out of this house I thought. I got up to my room and shut the door., presumably harder then I thought as the moment I lay down on the bed, David was there.

“You ok Nick?”

“Yea, can you believe this David, after all those years? Without even an apology she walks in and says ‘Hi I am back and oh, by the way I know where Francis is.’ Now is that just not too easy”.

“She said that,” he said looking at me.

“Yea, that she even has the guts to turn up you know, unbelievable”.

“Yea, I thought I was the only one thinking that when I left. I thought you would let her straight back in though,” David whispered more or less now sitting just beside me on the bed.

“You would?”

“Yea, you where always a lot closer to her then I was and I know it cost you a long time to get over her you know?”

“I know but then coming back with such a flimsy excuse. Just 2 weeks after we have been on TV as that is so despicable. Did she really believe we would buy that?”

“She left then?” David asked.

“No, she is talking with Dad as I am sure he has questions of his own.”

“Yea I think he must.”

“So now what?”

“I don’t know but I am not going to talk with her,” I said.

“Good, so how you feeling now?” David asked.

“I don’t know David as I was angry for the last 2 weeks as you probably noticed that. Or maybe even since we know he left as angry at myself most of it. But I just realised that that is what I felt after she left and there is definitely no way that I am going to let myself go through wth that again as you know”.

“I know, but”.

“Well maybe he did run away as maybe it did get all too much David. Maybe I need to accept that he is gone and that he didn’t want to be in my life, despite the last words in his e-mail. You know he might have collapsed. He might have not been as strong as we thought he was”.

“No, Nick you can’t think that, that is not like you. You know he loved you more than anything in his life”.

“Well maybe that is it then. He killed him self and is now laying somewhere where no one can find him. But if he has been that selfish then I need to move on. I waited for her despite her selfish act as I can’t wait that long again. My life will be over then”.

“Hold on Nick. Are you not jumping from one conclusion to the other just too quick? She might know where he is you know”.

“Oh I don’t know David but at the moment I am just saying it is going to hurt for sure but maybe if no one has seen or heard from him I have to accept he just didn’t want to be found and that is it. I can keep on like that but I have my life to live and have to go on you know”.

“We will see. So you are coming back down with me?”

“No, let’s watch some TV down here. The others will understand. They might even have left”.

We watched some TV. When we had heard some upset voices downstairs and some door slamming. We had looked at each other but continued to watch TV. Looking back now it was away of totally not want to deal with it as it was from the shock through to the anger to total denial that she was back into our lives.

We both looked up at each other when their was a knock on the door. We didn’t say anything, as if either one of us was waiting for who ever was their to go away. But after 30 seconds just as we thought they might have, there was another knock.

“You ok guys,” the voice of Alexei came from the other side of the door. “Can I come in?” he continued.

I just nodded at David and he said, “Yea come on in”.

He got in not alone as Randy was following him.

“You guys ok?” Randy asked.

“I think that is a stupid question Randy,”Alexei said.

“Ok, how are you doing then?” He rephrased.

I looked at David and he looked at me at the same time before we both started to laugh.

“Hmm sounds like they are in denial at the moment,” Alexei said.

“What do you mean?” Randy said.

“Well, Nick had the shock at the door. We heard him yelling and slamming doors when they went upstairs, first Nick then David. And now they are both here hiding from the rest of us and the world. The fact they are both laughing is a positive sign.”

That last bit got us stopped straight off.

“Is he all right?” Randy asked while looking at us.

David looked at me, “He might be,” said realizing that Alexei was right.

I thought about that and just nodded my head.

“So she is still there or did Dad get her out of the house?” David asked.

“No, they left.”

“They,” I said surprised.

“Yea, I think that got Susan a bit upset but your Mom and Dad left as I think if I understood correctly.

“So they left to talk somewhere else?”

“Yep,” Alexei said. “So you want to talk about it?”

“I guess we need to,” David said.

“It might help you to get things off your chest,” Randy said.

“We talked together already,” I said as I was not sure I wanted to do more.

“Yea, but we need to more,Nick as we can’t keep it inside. I can still feel a lot of anger and I think that I might regret not to hear her reason. But I can’t with all this anger inside me. So I’m not so sure if you want but, otherwise Alexei can you come along with me so we can talk?”

“You ok with that Nick?” Alexei asked.

“Yea, go as I know Randy better then David, so I can understand that he wants to talk with you.”

They left.

“So now what?” I asked Randy as I still didn’t feel like going into it.

“I don’t know Nick as do you know what she said?

She said she did know where Francis is as is that not a real coincidence? We havent’seen her in years and now she turns up. I just can’t believe that. And the way she acts she thinks we will let her back into our lives like she is the saviour. Never you know as I just don’t see it.”

“Hm, never say never Nick. So how long ago did she leave?”

I didn’t have to think about that at all, “When I was about 5 or so. I didn’t notice for the first few days but then when she was not there for day number three, I asked and well lets say it took me years to get passed it”.

“You where angry at her?”

“Oh yea and disappointed as never knowing why was the worsted bit I guess.”

“So that is coming back now all, with Francis?”

“Yea, more then I realised. I talked with Dad already a bit about that, or better he hinted at that and made me think. If Francis really just left Randy there is no way I am going to wait for him. Not like I did for Mom as I just can’t do that again.”

“But he might not have left, remember as we believe he has been kidnapped? Otherwise some one would have seen him and called. We talked about that and we are sure something has happened.”

“He might just be dead somewhere beside the road or in a swamp” I said softly. “We will never know”. I better stop I thought as I felt how my tears started to run over my face.

“Yea, well their will be a time to stop and move on but this is not that time yet Nick. You can’t give up and who knows your Mom might know where he is as whe just might be right.”

“Not sure I can give myself that kind of hope, Randy.”

“I know but still we never gave up on you when you where gone at the hotel that time, so we need to hang in, ok?”

“I guess, so now what?”

“Well I think we need to go downstairs to see the rest as it would reassure Susan a bit as well. Can you do that?”

“I might, as long as she doesn’t come back”.

“I don’t think she will as not tonight”.

When I got downstairs we talked a bit about several things. David came downstairs with Alexei as well and gave me a hug. We waited until we heard the front door opening. We got silent and waited as it had been quite a long time since he had left but it was Dad returning from his trip to the pub with my Mom. I saw that my Dad was upset … not just a bit but an awful lot.  I’m not sure what had happened … but their talk had had more effect on him than he’d expected, that was for sure.  He winked at Susan as soon as he entered the living room.  I guess he saw that she was distressed by the amount of time they’d been away.

My Dad and Susan went to the kitchen to talk and, as soon as they left, the room went silent. They came walking in after a few minutes again as Dad got himself a drink and then walked back to the couch to sit beside Susan.

“You ok Dad?” David asked.

“Not sure that is the good way to describe it David, but I will be fine.”

“So you made her go away then qw we don’t need to see her anymore?” I asked.

“Sorry Nick, but it isn’t that easy.”

“It is, she was here, she is gone and never to be let back in”.

“I know Nick, but you need.  No sorry you don’t need Nick as I just hope that you will talk with her and it might be better sooner then later as well.”

“I can hardly see that happening Dad. I can’t understand that you can trust her as much as you seem to be showing.”

“I don’t that is why I told her to go to Keith and the private eye’s.”

“You think they will believe her?” Randy asked.

“Not sure belief is what I am looking for here Randy as it is more like fact finding. I don’t want her to tell more to us. We need to know if it is truth before we can here anything more from her. But for the moment I don’t want her hurting David, Nick or me with any possible lies. She has no right to do that at all”.

“So you want us to talk after she talked with Keith and the private eye’s then?” I asked.

“No, she can tell them her story and then they can see what they can find out and they can then report back to us.”


“This way we know for sure that she is right and that we might even be able to trust her a bit”.

“Did she tell you why she knows?” David asked.

“No, and I didn’t want to know.”

“Did she tell than why she left?”

“Later Nick, let’s say she did a bit.”

‘You don’t want to share it with us then?” David asked.

“Not yet. I am still processing it myself guys.”

“So now what then?” I asked.

“Nothing, time to get a drink for us all and then go to bed. Keith will meet with her tomorrow and then hopefully we can find out in a day or two.”

We said goodbye to the guys as Alexei and Randy stayed over and we turned in early. I didn’t sleep a wink that night.

I rested that is for sure but definitely no sleep. I tried to read a bit but my mind went back to so many years ago. Thinking back to that day after missing Mom for a few days, my Dad took me to the garden, sitting on the bench over looking the rose garden, Mom’s favourite area. There he told me that he had no idea where she was and that she might not be coming back. The idea of the image had grown over time but I missed her that was something for sure. I also know I had a period of hate as well. If she just would have left a note I thought then, but not sure if that would have helped either. Maybe getting to know the reason would make this easier to close it all and move onwards. For hours that keep on going into my mind not sure what the best thing was to do. Could I trust the reason she would give or would it always nag me in the back of my mind that she would leave again without saying something? And then there was Francis, where was he and did she actually know where he was?

I did some more drawing over the next few days. Not painting as I knew what the color would be. But a few times the same theme, images out of my youth came back to me, like that rose garden. We talked but most of it we just weighted. We knew that Keith had talked with Mom but no news after that. I think that something was said that it might take up some time and effort.

On the fourth day we got a phone call from Keith, they wanted to meet with us the next morning. It seems they had found some facts and wanted to share with us.

So the next morning, with red eyes we all gathered around the breakfast table.

“Thanks for staying Alexei and Randy. I know this might be all strange for you but we are thankful for your support,” Dad said when we all sat down.

“I think that we can use the support and the listening ear as I suspect that it won’t be an easy morning. I also want to ask you Nick and David to keep your mind open to all what is going to be said. It is not going to be easy and she has a lot to answer too. I just want to ask of you to listen to her. Then if you don’t want to talk with her ever that is fine with me but at least give yourselves the opportunity of hearing her out.”

‘So the detectives found something out then, you know there is truth in her story.”

“I don’t know, but what she told me, if that is true and she always could be trusted until she ran away, then I want you at least listen, ok? I guess I feel that I owe her that much. She gave me the two most beautiful and smart young men I could have ever dream about”.

I smiled at him. Sucking up I thought as this better be good.

Just when we where finishing off, the door bell went. My Dad stood up and went to the door.

“You ok guys?” Alexei asked.


“You look like you didn’t sleep at all Nick?”

“Well not a lot.”

“If you feel the need you need to talk at any point while they are here, let us know, we will go with you to your rooms and talk ok?”

“Thanks Alexei and Randy,” I looked at David “We really appreciate you being here at the moment/”

“No problem that is what friends are for.” Randy said.

Keith came then in followed by one of the detective’s, when Mom was the next to come in. I saw that David was about to say something when my Dad said, “It is easier if we do this in one go, so please David.”

We all sat down as I noticed that Mom was in between Keith and my Dad. as it almost looked like she had won him over already. I realised that he must have loved her an awful lot.

“Ok, Keith what did you find?”

“Well let’s first say that I am going to keep myself to the facts. I am not going to tell or give anything away of your mother that she is not willing to tell herself. We agreed that we would look into the facts and that today she would in return, tell them to you. She wanted that and we had no problem with it. But first let me say that it took us a bit longer and with a lot more people than we expected to get this done. Mainly because as she told us, that we needed to be very, very careful in pursuit of this. We did and what we found even scared us,” he said looking at the detective when he finished that. We followed his gaze and saw the detective nodding.

“I have been in this business for quite some time now but this shook it all.”

“So what did you discover Keith?” Dad asked.

“We followed the clues given by your Mom and although we could hardly believe that they were true we found that in 80% of what she said was right. This was all protected and covered up which made it very difficult to trace it all. So we can hardly deny the fact that there is a big hidden organization behind it all that is very powerful and will do anything to keep itself hidden.”

“So you think that they might have Francis then?” I asked.

“No idea Nick, but if your Mom is involved as she says she is, then kidnapping him to keep her in control might be one of the solutions they would follow. Especially and don’t take me wrong as wwe all are having a bit of a stressful time understanding this all, so it might be without consequences as they might have thought that he ran away.”

“So what did they cover up then?” Alexei asked.

“Oh, you name it and they did. Murder, kidnapping, extortion, abuse, blackmail, fraud and we found a few of those things in deed but I am sure there is a lot more behind it.”

“How did they do it then?” David wondered.

“Easy as having the right people at the right place and get them to act .as then they are fallen and easily being used for future purposes. You have to take in mind that it is a big organization., spread straight across the country.”

“Ok, so now what?” David asked looking at my Dad.

“Well I think first it is time for your Mom to tell her story and why she came to believe that they have Francis as are you willing to listen at least?”

David nodded. I looked at him and then at Mom I saw her pleading look and nodded as well.

“Are you sure you want to?” Keith asked, “You know what this will mean for you don’t you?”

“I think so, but I can’t live with it anymore Keith. I need to find a way out.”

“Ok, if you say so.”

“Ok, let me get every one a coffee and then you can start,” Susan said.

Susan poured every one a drink and we waited patiently for Mom to start.

chapter 12